I am going to be level with you all here! 2015 has been such a challenging year, I was in such a dark place regarding issues with my anxiety.
Particularly a couple of months ago when so many different things got on top of me to the point where I felt like giving up all together; it was one of the darkest times and most pain I had ever experienced, yet I was physically healthy, had lots of people around who loved me and financially I was stable but that didn’t seem good enough. I didn’t want to be here anymore. Even now I don’t know why I felt this way; it was one morning before work I decided to open up about how I was feeling to my mum, it was then she made an appointment for me to see my local GP who recommended this counselling service called iTalk. It has been one of the best things to ever happen to me; after every session I have had so far I have felt tonnes lighter and have been more open with how I’ve been feeling. Especially learning different mind techniques to help keep my mental health issues at bay.
So my first goal for the New Year is to NEVER allow myself back into that state again; I think it was the thought of my friends and family that have kept me going throughout this year. Even through the darkest times when all hope seemed far away there have been saviours who have pulled me out. It was honestly one of the most painful and saddening times. I realise now it’s OK not to have everything you desire, it’s OK if you haven’t gotten your dream job yet and it’s OK if everything in your life isn’t perfect.
This leads to me to my second goal! NEVER be ashamed of what you’re doing and who you are; haters will hate and people will nitpick but those who care and respect you will support you no matter what you choose to do. So whenever someone decides to nit pick or criticise your life choices for no reason just remember this quote by the wonderfully eccentric Dr Seuss:
“Those who mind don’t matter, those who matter don’t mind.”
Never, ever be ashamed of who you are or to say what you feel!
To refresh this mindset I will partake in 100 Days Of Happiness Challenge; this involves sharing a moment a day for 100 days in a row that has made you particularly very happy. It can be a big moment like finding a new job, getting married or passing a test, it can be a small moment like meeting your best friend, playing with a pet or eating a favourite meal. In fact it’s the little things that make it for me personally, being easily impressed has it’s perks!
I think my main New Year’s Resoloution is to stay happy and healthy. Also making sure I am still there for those need me most. I want to continue learning new things and take on new challenges whilst keeping my head up! Most importantly, I will not throw in the towel!
2016 I am ready, Bring It On!
Take care and see you in 2016!
Lotty
