There’s a poignant scene in My Mad Fat Diary that always hits home. Fans of the show may know which scene I am talking about. For those who haven’t seen the show; here’s a run down.
The series is set in the mid nineties, 1996 – 1998 to be exact. It focuses on main protagonist Rachel ‘Rae’ Earl adjusting to normal teenage life after spending four months in a psychiatric ward. This scene takes place at the end of series two, she is having a session with her therapist Dr Kester after her world comes crashing down around her due to major changes in her life plus internal struggles.
The scene in question can be found below.
I only really started liking myself a few years ago and after years of loathing yourself, it’s hard to grasp at first. It’s only been this past year and a half I have actually felt comfortable being my true authentic self. So, this scene still hits home for me to this day. I have also just finished Tom Allen’s latest book No Shame, at the end of the book he writes a letter to his sixteen year old. This gave me the push to do the same.
My Letter To My Sixteen Year Old Self
Dear Lotty,
You may not fully believe it but it’s me, from the future.
First off, I want to tell you that you are great and that you should love yourself. I understand that is easier said than done due to feeling like nobody understands your interests or personality quirks. I want to reassure you that your tribe will find you and you will find them. You will make friends with people who absolutely love you for who you are and share your interests. You will also grow to learn that not everyone is out to get you. Yet it’s also important to remember not everyone is going to understand you or get you, and that’s OK. That confidence you are currently searching for is there and your tribe will back you up.
I also want to tell you now to work hard. This hard work will pay off as I am now in a job I absolutely love. It’s not what I expected but I am thriving in this role and want to carry on.
Pay attention to every lesson and feedback you are given, these will prove valuable in your life in general.
Your love and passion for music will shine through too, I am heading up a kickass website after spending years reviewing and interviewing bands for different magazines. Two of these bands being Visions Of Atlantis and Kamelot, I know how much you love them.
There maybe moments where your confidence will dip massively and you will come across many obstacles. Remember it’s OK to ask for help during those times, like I said, not everyone is out to get you. It’s OK to feel down about things, be honest with how you’re feeling about things and don’t bottle them up. I know that’s easier than done, it does get easier to cope with I promise you.
Your fear of dogs will gradually vanish. The main reason being in the form of a special bond with Fergus, one of Granddad’s future guide dogs. He will play such an important part in one of the strangest times the world has faced. Granddad unfortunately has now passed away, I now own Fergus.
One more thing, try not to worry about things you can’t control. I know it’s easier said than done but honestly, it’s worth it.
Take care of yourself first and foremost.
Love Future Lotty
